Why Your Self-Care Is Actually Self-Harm

Most self-care days, the way people do them, are actually self-harm days.

Most people relax their brains in a way that's not helpful.

They're not really relaxed—they’re actually stimulated.

Most of the things people do to “relax” themselves involve a screen.

That's a lot of stimulation and your body's just kind of messed up.

You're not chilling and you're not helping your body.

That's why I say self-care days are self-harm days.

(The way most people do them.)

Here is how a self-care day should actually go:

You should do something that's helpful for yourself.

Let's say you're an athlete, you exercise a lot, whatever it is.

(For less trouble with exercise, the Balanced Body Blueprint can help make your workouts much simpler.)

You can get something like a massage gun.

Let's say you spend a lot of time just getting yourself all over with the massage gun.

That's good self-care.

You can get a sports massage or a regular massage.

You can go to a sauna or something like that.

All of those things cost a lot of money, but…

You can also do yoga at home if you want to, or work on your mobility.

That could be a self-care day.

If you want to do all those other things where you're just kind of… dead, that's not self-care.

You can do them if you want to, but it's not self-care.

And if you're thinking, fine, it's self-harm. It just feels good.

Okay, that's fine.

But what I'm saying is the way most people do their self-care is actually self-harm and you should not be doing that.

If you want a real self-care day, real self-care actions don't look like that.

They look very different.

They look like actually caring for your body.

To use punishment as a reward is very strange.

You're basically saying:

“I improved my body quite a lot today… Let's fuck it up!

Let's de-prove my body by just eating some of the worst stuff possible.”

That doesn't make any sense.

It does make sense that the human brain would like that, but to think that it's a reward or self-care is, it's a fallacy.

Do not confuse self-harm with rewards.

If you keep doing that, you're definitely not going to make it long term.

“So what? I just have to do massages and yoga if I want a self-care day?”

Not necessarily.

You can:

• Read

• Take a walk

• Do puzzles or something

Just something that is helpful in some way to your brain, not harmful.

Because the difference between self-care and self-harm is the caring and harming for yourself.

If you do something to yourself that's harming you, it's not good.

If you're actually caring, your body will be cared for.

If your idea of a self-care day is: I'm going to just let loose, not do anything with my body at all, I am going to be borderline comatose, but very stimulated, and I'm going to eat junk so the inside of my body will be super stimulated as well.

That's harm.

If you want to do it though, cool.

But that's not care.

Do not conflate the two.

Do things that your tomorrow self will appreciate.

Do things that you in a year will appreciate, as in recovering more effectively with a massage gun or even rolling out or just focusing on mobility, reading something that's nice to your brain or helpful to your brain.

Going outside, lying down or even lying down inside, whatever.

Just lie down on the floor, actually just chill, look at the ceiling, look at the sky, whatever.

That is actually relaxing.

What people think relaxing is is: scrolling while also watching TV.

Or playing games for six hours.

Your brain is not relaxing.

I promise you 100% it's not relaxing.

That is harmful.

It's not self-care.

😈 DEVIL’S ADVOCACY 😈

• "But I enjoy binge-watching TV shows all day." (Doing so overstimulates your brain and doesn't provide true relaxation.)

• "Scrolling through social media is how I unwind." (Social media stimulates your brain and often leads to negative emotions.)

• "Playing video games helps me escape reality." (While it might feel like an escape, it's not giving your brain or body the rest it needs.)

• "Eating junk food is my reward for a hard week's work." (Consuming unhealthy food as a reward can harm your body in the long term.)

WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?

• True relaxation and mental clarity.

• Improved long-term physical health.

• Better mental health and reduced stress.

ACTION STEPS:

1. Reward yourself with foods that benefit your body.

2. Reduce activities involving screens to give your brain a break.

3. Consider meditation or deep-breathing exercises to truly relax.

4. Choose a real self-care activity by opting for activities like yoga, reading, or a walk.

Remember that real self-care is about nurturing your body and mind in ways that benefit you in the long run.

Okay, bye!